LIST # 7; Dating Tips : 10 Signs He's/She's Not the One!

By YourTango.com

Some people say they "just knew" that they were dating their future spouse. But what about the rest of us? What happens when you're not sure if he's The One? If you're considering long-term commitment or marriage, it's time to ask yourself some tough questions.

Below, 10 signs that may indicate he's/she's not for you.

1. You have a list of things he/she needs to stop doing/saying/wearing if he/she wants your relationship to work. If you're fixating on his/her flaws, he's/shes either not the one you want or you're not ready for a serious relationship. Cutting him/her loose allows you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet a guy/girl whose flaws you can embrace -- or at least accept.

2. You don't trust him/her. A small dose of jealousy can be healthy, but if you're hacking into his/her email account, and going berserk when he/she goes out without you, something's wrong. If there's something about him/her that truly warrants your distrust, then perhaps he's/shes not the right one for you.

3. You avoid conflict at any cost. Fighting is healthy. And, when done right (in the non-accusatory, rational sort of way), it can be a great way to air grievances, fix problems in your relationship, and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is not the same as having no problems at all... even if it looks that way.

4. When you're sad, you don't turn to him/her for comfort. When you're a giant ball of tears and snot, do you lock yourself into the bathroom so he/she can't see you at your worst? If you're worried about scaring him/her away, one of you isn't ready for total commitment. Mr./Mrs Right should make you smile through your tears and be a calming, not stressful, presence.

5. One of you is struggling with an addiction. He's/Shes sweet. He's/Shes exciting. He/She loves you very much. But he/she loves his/her alcohol habit or his/her weekly gambling fix more. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can change him/her or that your relationship will be strong enough to withstand the heartache that addiction will inevitably bring. An addict may be able to change, but he'll/she'll do so on his/her own terms.

6. You can't really imagine him/her as the father/mother of your children. Ask yourself: Would he/she make a great parent? Is he/she financially responsible? Would he/she be an equal partner in your future together? If you have doubts, he's/shes probably not the one.

7. Your long-term, non-negotiable goals in life are incompatible. You want kids; he/she doesn't. You go to house of prayer every week; he's/she an atheist. He/She lives in the country and doesn't want to move; you can't imagine ever leaving the city. Superficial differences can be overcome, but differences in basic values are harder to smooth over. Ask yourself: "Would I be willing to compromise on this?" If the answer is absolutely not, you may not be right for each other.

8. You don't respect each other. He/She puts you down in front of your friends and complains about you to his/her parents. You roll your eyes when he/she talks because there's just something about him/her that embarrasses you. A relationship without respect can't sustain itself.

9. You're not attracted to him/her. Physical intimacy is a hugely important component of a romantic relationship. If he/she doesn't do it for you, he's/shes probably not your best long-term match.

10. On paper he/she seems great, but you have this strange feeling... Don't ignore your gut. You may get along on a superficial level, but if your instincts are telling you he's/she's not the one for you, listen. That little voice inside your head does not lie.

finkelberry's:

11. Find somebody that u can talk with. happy and easy to talk with. that can make u and him/her laugh. cause its very important. life gets harder and harder and u will need someone to talk with. and sooner or later the sex part is not the glue to ur marriage.